Men who walk up and down public streets with no shirts on are probably not the next captains of industry.

I bought an artificial plant for my office. It died.

Once during a job interview, the HR person asked me "Where would you like to see yourself five years from now?" I told her "On a tropical island living off my lottery winnings." I didn't get that job.

I used to have a photographic memory. I ran out of film when I turned 18.

During a performance review, my supervisor told me that I had a "bad attitude". I said it was true that I couldn't stand working for him because he was a real jerk, but that only meant I had "bad luck".

I would never seek advice from a surgeon who advertises on the radio. How can you trust someone cutting into you who has their own jingle?